#15 - ray's surprise on Hnight

it was ray's birthday surprise.
it was also same night as hnight.
i had to go to both. so i told myself i'm going to get drunk fast so i can sober up and go to hnight.

i lost control, dammit.
yea, i got drunk fast. too drunk.
i woke up on katrina's bed, not knowing what happened. that's never good.
i've always remembered things after being drunk.
this time i didn't.

i just hope i didnt't do anything stupid or like yak all over someone.
i'm guessing i had fun though.
good job to me. i had a good time. haha.


when i woke up, i was pretty damn hungover. but i had to go to the end of Hnight.
i got there in time, so that was good, though i felt like shit watching everything.

congratulations omicron class...minus my lil bro (or EX lil bro). boo.

not drinking for a while anymore...that's for SURE.

#14 - UP!

great movie.
loved it. quite funny.
also was the first 3-D movie i saw...but i don't think it was worth an extra 5 or so bucks. stuff didn't even pop out off of the screen that much like at those shows in disneyland.
but there was still some 3-D.

i want to watch it again...while being high.
it's going to be really funny if you watch it high.

yay for midnight showings.
i'm tired. i don't know why i'm updating now.
sleepy.
gwahhhh.


have a good summer.
KIT.
(^ i used to put that in yearbooks in middle school)

#13 - pgrad

woke up with a nasty hangover.
really bad hangover. i could barely get up to go to pgrad.
but i eventually made it.

throughout the ceremony, i just kind of sat there since i had a really bad headache. but i paid attention to some of the speeches, especially the ones that were made by the people i knew better.

then i just got a bit sad.
quite sad actually.

pgrad looked really cool. it was my first time there but it's pretty nice, a lot of people i knew were there. but then i remembered...i'm not going to be at pgrad. i'm not even graduating with my friends here in LB. that saddened me.
i might be just graduating all alone...

it was nice to see them oldies graduate. it was also a bit sad because i knew they weren't going to be around as much.

i saw a couple get teary or near teary when some of their closer friends was up there...
that made me more sad.
i can see that they're going to miss these graduates very much.
will i have that at my graduation?

i didn't graduate. but i'm probably going be gone next year.
and when i do graduate. who knows which of these people will still be in touch?
who knows which of these graduates I'LL be in touch with?

graduation is a happy and sad time. but i get too nostalgic. it's more sad to me.
i don't like change. i don't like moving on.
but it happens.

congrats to class of '09.
hope to still see you around.
good day.

#12 - blahness

do you ever have one of those days when everything just hits you?
when you just kind of break down?

when something you've realized isn't true...actually ends up being true?

sometimes, things just gets so crappy you just can't take it.
you end up breaking down into tears.

some get angry and become destructive.
some cry themselves to sleep.
it's the result from bottling up everything inside.

i know people have those days at times.

do you?


i do.

#11 - PSST's 10th PACN!

wow. 10 years.
i remember when i first joined PSST. we were at the 4th PACN. the FOURTH.
wow has this club...or should i say, family, gone a long way. the costumes were awesome. backdrops for dances. the program was incredible! it was full color. truly legit. and really thick. (though there was a $5 implied donation, but of course i supported).

it was really nice to come back.
it was a like a mini reunion. so many alumni came back. as far back as class of '03. those are MY seniors when i a freshman. the seniors performing now were MY freshman when I was a senior.

yea. that's right. PSST is a dynasty.
i love it. i miss it.
really happy for all those who performed. i enjoyed the show.
really happy to see my high school friends who i don't see so often anymore.

they told me in college that it was like a family in PAC. i believe it. sure. i won't take that away from them.
but honestly, it was hard for me to really believe it because of my roots in high school.
just because it's a high school doesn't mean they give legitimate PACNs.
this one was truly legit.

ask jamie. she came along. she said she was inspired.
that's awesome to hear because this IS a high school PACN. not a college one.
but they're good.
this is where i came from.

there's always going to be a special spot in my heart for the PSST family.
i miss it all the time.
one of the biggest and greatest things to come across my life.
i love my experiences. i love the people.

PS - ST!

congrats again to all them young'ns on a great PACN.


...but i want to see that 10th anniversary montage though!
i felt i was kind of robbed from that...

#10 - make the best of this time

finals are coming up. meaning the end of the year. meaning possibly my last week or so here in LB.

i MIGHT be back for a semester next year. i might not.
i shouldn't bet on it. better not give it the benefit of the doubt.

so i was thinking lately...i should really try to use up this time to hang out more and catch up with the people i have lost touch with. it'd be nice to hang out with them, like really hang out, maybe one on one and catch up.
i don't really know who i'll be hanging out with still next year. plus i don't know how often i'll be seeing the people i do keep in touch with.

not that i don't want to keep in touch with everyone. i'm just being practical. i know i'm not going to keep the same relationships with everyone that i have now. it's just reality. plus i've learned from experience.

in high school, i'm sure we've all had people whom we've said to, or they've said to us, "we're going to keep in contact and know each other forever!"
how many of those people are we really still tight with?
i'd have to say very, very little. i mean yeah, i keep in contact with a lot of people, but it's not the same as it was as before.

people i was really close with are now acquaintances.
people that were acquaintances i do not talk anymore.
not like i didn't try. i hate to get distant. i make the effort.
but my efforts can only get me so far.
some people don't reciprocate those efforts.

may seem pessimistic. but i'm just being realistic.
i'd like to hang out with more people here in LB before next year. even throughout summer.
it'd be nice.

have a good day.
even though i hated these last two...

#9 - boo for yesterday

so i kinda hated yesterday.

i just hated the way i was feeling.
very blah.

blah.
blah.
blah.

#8 - sister is observant

so my sister found out today.

not good. not good at all.

she's not dumb. she's an observant one. knows when i'm being weird and all.
but she's dumb in the sense she's quite gullible.

i told her a bold faced lie and she believed it.
that was easy.
still not good. but she left it at that.



on another note...i found out my cousin ratted me out to my parents. she tells them i drink and stuff. my cousin knows this because she's a friend on facebook and she's seen my pics.
she's like 15 years older than me.

she frikkin told on me. so my mom asked me about it.
of course i lied.
what am i going to say? my mom really does not condone drinking.

that's all.

happy mother's day.

#7 - hopelessness is best

it's true.
to be hopeful means to be disappointed.
lose that hope and you save yourself from potential disaster.
not saying that good things can't happen. just saying they don't happen for everyone. like me.

this was a little something i wrote back in sophomore year in high school.
it's nothing great but i'm proud of it...
plus it reminds me of the mindset i should always keep in order to help myself out.

It's all on big upset
To keep dreaming and wishing
But only to find
Your heart scattered and bleeding
Then you'll wonder why
What's the point of believing?
After putting yourself
Through such a great beating

It hurts just to think when
You see the bright, endless sky
And then realize
All that you've felt was a lie.
As tears start to form
You just ask yourself, "Why?
What was the reason?"
It's just useless to try

To think of it as
Something you can't touch
To think you believed
In something so much
You hold on so tight
Like one holds a rope
But then in the end
You lose all of your hope

It makes you wonder
And fills you up with great doubt
That good things happen
You just can't figure it out
And feeling the pain...
The pain you'll cry about
You understand it-
FAILURE- it's what makes you shout

So think of it as
Something you can't touch
So think you believed
In something so much
You hold on so tight
Like one holds a rope
It all comes to end
With you losing your hope

yea. i said it wasn't anything great.
but wouldn't you agree though?
it's so much easier to keep going and not worry about disappointments and getting hurt when you have nothing to hope for.

also, that way, when good things happen, they're extra sweet. especially since you don't really expect them to happen.

i guess i sound like a pessimist. whatever.


all you optimists can keep hoping for good days.

good day all.

# - 6 geek status

saw star trek last night.
the midnight showing.
i didn't actually think that this would be a movie i'd be seeing the midnight showing of. damn i feel like a geek. at least i wasn't dressed up in the outfits like some other people...*ahem* jamie and vianca.

it was not a bad movie. got nothing to say about it. never knew anything about the original series so i can't really criticize.
but yea. it was chill.
i like hanging out with people on thursday nights rather than just being home. because then i'd just feel loner status if i was just home.
the people i was with were fun too.

this finished off an interesting day.
full of drunkasses. random friend visits whom another one of my friends think is hot. promises...borken/empty/kept ones/whatnot.

i'm ready for saturday.

live it up nigga.

#5 - sbarros has hot wings!

damn! they are hot.
they're good though. i hate it when i eat spicy wings that are good.
i can't take the spicyness, but i want the goodness.

i just found out sbarros had spicy wings today.
i went to get spaghetti, but the niggas were out of it, so i had some other pasta stuff. and then i saw the wings.

mm. mm. wings.
good. but spicy.
even with the ranch, i would cough and almost tear up.

i'm a wuss when it comes to eating spicy foods. i can't do it.

imagine how pledgeship was. ouch.

alright well you enjoy your day. nigga.

#4 - why i did it? good question.

i was asked today why i did something.

to be honest, there's so much involved in that answer i don't even know how to start talking about it. not only that, i don't really want to talk about it. it was hard enough to say it last time.

it's better to just smile about things and not think about things too much, right?
something happens. ok it happens. forget about it...move on.

it's not like it was so bad.
it's not like a habit.
it's cool. i'm good. don't worry.

=D

have a good day.
lakers won.

#3 - promise? hmm...

promise?
HAH.

maybe. i can't make a promise i don't know i can keep for sure.

thanks though.

maybe in time i'll be able to keep that promise.



btw. today was a long effing day.
have a nice one niggas.

#2 - what to wear?

we talked about PAC formal today. cynthia is my date? i think? i'm not even sure anymore. it's cool. my original plan was to go as the loner emo kid who becomes prom king because i didn't really think i was going to have a date anyways.

so yea. bring on the black nail polish. the emo glasses. the spike paraphernalia. the blades. the blackness (as in clothes).

yup. emo kid. PAC formal is going to be fun.
going to celebrate my 21st birthday there because that's when me donzerz n cyntherz are going to be all together.

bring on the shots. and the drunkeness.

that's right. nigga.

have a happy good nice day.

#1 - a new beginning

so i decided to start another blog. this one won't be private. since there are people out there so nosy and want to see my blog, i'll just create this one for them to see.

don't know how long i'll actually update this blog. don't know if people will read it.
who cares?
this is the public one.

if this ain't the one you want to see...
then suck it.

you're not going to see the other one.



have a happy nice good day.