#7 - hopelessness is best

it's true.
to be hopeful means to be disappointed.
lose that hope and you save yourself from potential disaster.
not saying that good things can't happen. just saying they don't happen for everyone. like me.

this was a little something i wrote back in sophomore year in high school.
it's nothing great but i'm proud of it...
plus it reminds me of the mindset i should always keep in order to help myself out.

It's all on big upset
To keep dreaming and wishing
But only to find
Your heart scattered and bleeding
Then you'll wonder why
What's the point of believing?
After putting yourself
Through such a great beating

It hurts just to think when
You see the bright, endless sky
And then realize
All that you've felt was a lie.
As tears start to form
You just ask yourself, "Why?
What was the reason?"
It's just useless to try

To think of it as
Something you can't touch
To think you believed
In something so much
You hold on so tight
Like one holds a rope
But then in the end
You lose all of your hope

It makes you wonder
And fills you up with great doubt
That good things happen
You just can't figure it out
And feeling the pain...
The pain you'll cry about
You understand it-
FAILURE- it's what makes you shout

So think of it as
Something you can't touch
So think you believed
In something so much
You hold on so tight
Like one holds a rope
It all comes to end
With you losing your hope

yea. i said it wasn't anything great.
but wouldn't you agree though?
it's so much easier to keep going and not worry about disappointments and getting hurt when you have nothing to hope for.

also, that way, when good things happen, they're extra sweet. especially since you don't really expect them to happen.

i guess i sound like a pessimist. whatever.


all you optimists can keep hoping for good days.

good day all.

# - 6 geek status

saw star trek last night.
the midnight showing.
i didn't actually think that this would be a movie i'd be seeing the midnight showing of. damn i feel like a geek. at least i wasn't dressed up in the outfits like some other people...*ahem* jamie and vianca.

it was not a bad movie. got nothing to say about it. never knew anything about the original series so i can't really criticize.
but yea. it was chill.
i like hanging out with people on thursday nights rather than just being home. because then i'd just feel loner status if i was just home.
the people i was with were fun too.

this finished off an interesting day.
full of drunkasses. random friend visits whom another one of my friends think is hot. promises...borken/empty/kept ones/whatnot.

i'm ready for saturday.

live it up nigga.

#5 - sbarros has hot wings!

damn! they are hot.
they're good though. i hate it when i eat spicy wings that are good.
i can't take the spicyness, but i want the goodness.

i just found out sbarros had spicy wings today.
i went to get spaghetti, but the niggas were out of it, so i had some other pasta stuff. and then i saw the wings.

mm. mm. wings.
good. but spicy.
even with the ranch, i would cough and almost tear up.

i'm a wuss when it comes to eating spicy foods. i can't do it.

imagine how pledgeship was. ouch.

alright well you enjoy your day. nigga.

#4 - why i did it? good question.

i was asked today why i did something.

to be honest, there's so much involved in that answer i don't even know how to start talking about it. not only that, i don't really want to talk about it. it was hard enough to say it last time.

it's better to just smile about things and not think about things too much, right?
something happens. ok it happens. forget about it...move on.

it's not like it was so bad.
it's not like a habit.
it's cool. i'm good. don't worry.

=D

have a good day.
lakers won.

#3 - promise? hmm...

promise?
HAH.

maybe. i can't make a promise i don't know i can keep for sure.

thanks though.

maybe in time i'll be able to keep that promise.



btw. today was a long effing day.
have a nice one niggas.

#2 - what to wear?

we talked about PAC formal today. cynthia is my date? i think? i'm not even sure anymore. it's cool. my original plan was to go as the loner emo kid who becomes prom king because i didn't really think i was going to have a date anyways.

so yea. bring on the black nail polish. the emo glasses. the spike paraphernalia. the blades. the blackness (as in clothes).

yup. emo kid. PAC formal is going to be fun.
going to celebrate my 21st birthday there because that's when me donzerz n cyntherz are going to be all together.

bring on the shots. and the drunkeness.

that's right. nigga.

have a happy good nice day.

#1 - a new beginning

so i decided to start another blog. this one won't be private. since there are people out there so nosy and want to see my blog, i'll just create this one for them to see.

don't know how long i'll actually update this blog. don't know if people will read it.
who cares?
this is the public one.

if this ain't the one you want to see...
then suck it.

you're not going to see the other one.



have a happy nice good day.